My parents make me so mad! This is long, but it’s very important!!?
Question by Katie Dawnie: My parents make me so mad! This is long, but it’s very important!!?
Okay. Let’s start from the beginning.
My parents got divorced because my mother was cheating on my father with two guys, one was his cousin. At the beginning of the divorce, my mom said that my dad could have custody of me as long as she gets the house. I decided to stay with my dad for apparent reasons. During the divorce things got much worse. My dad hated my mom. He would tell me how terrible she is and call her a few choice words, and yada yada. Having listened to that for a good 2 months, I began to devlop my own thoughts about my mother. I really don’t like her. And I know things he doesn’t. And also during the divorce my dad’s lawyer said that as soon as the divorce was final, to get away from her because she is a manipulative lier.
After the divorce was final, my mom started coming around saying how sorry she was and blah blah blah. I never belived her but everytime my dad would say ” I really think she’s sincere about it this time.” and would give her another chance and “try to make things work” and she went back to her little boyfriend. And every time he would find out and say something about it to her, she would say I’m sorry, I’m sorry. And my dad would say the same thing “I really think she’s sincere about it this time.” Yeah, that happened probably 3 times.
Then one night, they were in my dad’s room and they called me in there. My dad said, something like don’t you think we should try to make this family work and stuff like that and I said no because I can’t trust her and I don’t want to be around her. And he stands up, looks me in the eyes, and says ” Well I guess that makes my choice clear.” and leaves and drives off. A couple weeks later I was being kinda rude and non-social and my dad was like “What’s wrong with you?” and I said “Nothing.” And he said “Is it because she’s here?” And I said “Yeah.” And he picks up the TV remote throws it at the wall stands up, starts throwing some more sh*t around and then leaves again. While he was gone I told more straight up I was like “I don’t trust you, I don’t think ya’ll should be together, and I don’t like that you’re around so much.” And she was just like “Why don’t you trust me?” And I said, “Because you’ve lied about 20 times now, and I’m not falling for it and I don’t want him to get hurt.” And she said something I don’t remember. Then when my dad got home he starts yelling at me about how it’s never what he wants and yak yak yak. And so I was just like forget it. Since then he’s been telling me that I need to get along with my mom and that I need to go to counsling and stuff of that nature. Then we three went out to eat and my dad went to the bathroom ( this was saturday btw) and my mom said “Do you still not trust me?” and I said “Nope.” She said ok and when my dad came and sat down, she grapped his face, gave him a big, long kiss and then looks at me with this smirk on her face that was just like what are you going to do about it?
Then I had practice and I needed someone to take me and she said she would and we were in the car and she was like “Do you still not like us together?” And I said nope, and she was like “Well you can’t stop me from seeing him and you’re going to counsling.” I my exact words were “Well, that’s a waste of money because I’m just gonna sit there and not say anything to him so it’s just wasting my time and you’re money!” And I slammed the door, and went into practice. She calls my dad and tell him what I said, so when I got home, he was like you’re nice to ur mom when you get what u want and all these lies and things. And then he said “You’re going to counsling and I don’t care if you just sit there.” I didn’t say this but I was thinking okay i will, and thats a waste of $ 150 bucks everytime you take as*hole. So yeah that’s basically all the story.
Here’s my thoughts: He has fallen into her little trap, spending money on her and listening to everything she says, when I know that she’s just gonna cheat on him again. Again would be the 5 or 6 time. And she still won’t let him read her messages, and everytime she was cheating on him, she wouldn’t ever let anyone see her messages. And now he sides with her on everything and just basically says fu*k you. And ugh!!!! it just piss0s me off! I am trying to get along with her but I don’t like her! I don’t want to live with either of them anymore. I looked into emancipation but I’m not old enough (I’m 14) and I don’t have anywhere else to go. What should I do?
Best answer:
Answer by Julie H
Your Mom knows uour Dad is weak and that she can manipulate him. You should keep quiet and stay out of it. It’s none of your business. Don’t take sides either.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
If I were you, I would just lie and attmept to get along. If your father wants to make the same mistake over and over, thats his problem. I would simply go with it, and try to avoid talking to your mother as often as possible. Becoming cold, distance, and uncaring in this case could very well be your best bet. They might trying to be staying together for you.
If you’re still not happy, and feel there is no way you can fake it until you’re old enough to drop all contact, the video camera is going to become your best friend. Film everything that they’re doing, and be sly about it. Try your best to film in a fashion that they won’t notice you’re filming. DO NOT stick the camera in they’re face. If you can get into your mothers messages, do so. And copy them.
At this point, turning against the Counciler would be a bad idea. A stupid idea. You can get him on your side (He might even tell your parents everything they’re doing wrong, as well as ways to fix it.) You have to keep calm when you talk to him,and act in an adult and reasoning manor. Explain everything you said here, but eliminate the “Likes” “yaks” and everything that makes you sound you’re age. Instead say things like; “My mother makes me uncomfortable, She’s never given me any reason to trust her, and keeps trying to push it instead of fixing it.” etc.
Good luck!
next time ur mom asks you say “well…i just…i dont know…” instead of just saying “no” and then the time after that say “i…yeah, i think i do, mom” and both times, try to be sincere about it. then use her for money
Maybe seeing the councilor isn’t such a bad idea. It would be a place to open up and express yourself freely. Perhaps you could politely, and sincerly suggest that if you co operate and see the councilor that you mom and dad would consider seeing a family councilor as well??
stand ur ground NEVER give up. ur mom is VERY manipulative. dont trust her. And wen ur dad finds out about her. and he leaves have him move as fast as possible. keep him from telling ur mom where your going. OR go live with some other relative.
just go along with it i mean u really need to think about it. she devoted months and years to rasing u. she really loves you she just fell into a bad state in her life. You need to tell her you love her and really mean it. i mean i have no patience for little children. she raised you and (probbaly) fed u. be nice to her and she will be nice to u. i know its really hard to gain someone trust but just try it AND DONT LISTEN TO THOSE DEUCHES I WENT THROUGH THE SAME EXPERIENCE BUT NOW MY MOM AND DAD ARE IN LOVE AND WE ALL LOVE EACHOTHER..
DUDE FUCKING TRUST ME AND DONT LISTEN TO THEM THEY JUST WANT UR RELATION TO BE BAD
1st of all, maybe you think parents can talk anyway they see fit each day. Turns out many parents are abusers. Actually they are not trying to be tough to make you responsible- they are tricking you. This goes for people at school as well. Words are abuse also.
Hurting people control/hurt others. It’s not you.. They are the ones who have a problem. People/parents do mean things- ignore/abandon to control. They just want the reaction so they can get high feel good from it. You have to look at the agenda. Abuse is anything and words that are not uplifting. So forget what truth is being used right then. Remember -THEY are sick and get high on being mean, and thats why they do it. They are wrong about everything. The abuser is close-minded and self-righteous.
The parents abuse can make children react with all types of so called mental Illnesses- painful but not a real disease – includes all OCD, BP ETC.
Psychiatrists commit fraud in that there is no medical science in what they do. They do not draw blood to test for imbalances. For chemical imbalances no test exists. There is no conception of what a correct chemical balance would look like to date. People in the FDA agree. I have links for this.
After abuse, drugs or witchcraft, all types mental sickness can be a spiritual problem – Jesus name is needed to banish what is there..
Google- “Inside the Mind of an Abuser” http://www.googobits.com/articles/2446-inside-the-mind-of-an-abuser-what-you-need-to-know.html-See how it works and be free…Google “self righteous” God wants you to know truth, forgive, and get away from them. Read many many sites under “emotional abuse” for real results..
Source–Seeing people overcome this –Talk to me for help. I have time.