A question about something personal?
Question by xatrx: A question about something personal?
Basically my dad became a drunk, and he drinks everyday, he injured his knee and hes been missing work and i did not go to school at all because all he would do is drink all day long. Me and my mom have been fighting his alcoholism for about two years now but after new years he heavily relied on strong liquor and he was a totally different person. He would say that he is going to go work in the basement because our basement is not finished meanwhile he gets drunk down there. He is a really hard man to understand and to speak with, when hes drunk hes is unstoppable. He would drink every single day and would play fight with me and sometimes take it to the extreme. One time he got really drunk, my mom got mad and started crying yelling about divorce and such and she tried to put him in bed but he would say that he needs to go into the basement to “work” and get up again, my mom would stay in his way and that time was the worst i have ever seen him. He pushed my mom against the wall, and i had to step in, I pushed him slightly onto the bed and told him to sleep, he would still get up it was like 3 in the morning and he finally fell asleep. My mom would cry and would have finger-print bruises and i would never forgive my dad after that. Its an instant cycle, he asks forgiveness and does it all over again. No matter how many times i would look into his drunken eyes and tell him all sorts of stuff that he is doing, he would say, i dont give a $ %^& i dont care about you, and i would say ive been your son for 19 years he would say i dont care. An instant #$ %^ing cycle, divorce, alcohol etc.. And it got worse i would go to bathroom or go to take a shower he would momentarily go and get drunk. There were times we fought, and i have bloody knuckles and he would also. He is not my dad he is a monster, without any sense of remorse or sense of feel when he is completely plastered. Next morning he would wake up, and wonder why me and mom are looking through apartment ads and are mad at him, as if he did not do anything at all. My mom would often give in and forgive him, cut him slack and such. And it would never finish positively. Infact she cuts him so much slack that he gets to drink some liquor and almost finish the bottle meanwhile my mom is somewhere else. I told my mom i will hide the bottle and i will not tell her where its kept. We tried everything we took away his money, his cards got rid of all the alcohol, and yet it still happens. Whenever my mom drinks wine and gives him some too he drinks much more much much more than she does. He always drinks beer, when he doesnt have any liquor. Right now that ive been watching him and taking care of him at home, he changed tremendously but he still craves liquor. Maybe now i can start to go to school. The reason im saying so much detail is that i need to cut the most uneeded pieces for the explanations to my profs so that the profs dont call the cops on my dad or something like that and effection, any ideas? Thanks for all the input!
Best answer:
Answer by Nick
Yes yahoo answer for life questions!!!! Get a consulor.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Al-Anon for your mom and Ala-teen for you (if you’re in HS. but if you’re in college then the regular chapter is fine).
You can’t stop living your life because your father is going to drink when you aren’t around. He’s an alcoholic and he’s going to find a way to get drunk. You babysitting him won’t change that.
What you are doing by staying home from school is making you responsible for his drinking and that is wrong and a sick, very sick situation to set up.
Don’t lie for your father. He needs to face the consequences of his actions and you don’t help him if you try to “protect” him from those consequences. That is known as “enabling”. The type of protection you are talking about only aids him in his addiction. Before they get help and make the changes they need to make, alcoholics sometimes have to hit rock bottom. The sooner that happens, the sooner he is likely to get the help he needs.
below is a link to alanon in North America. If you are elsewhere, there are chapters all over the world. You will meet people who are dealing with loved ones who have substance abuse problems and you will learn how to help your loved ones without enabling them and how to not make their problems your problem.
Well you need to remember that your the son. Your father needs to look after himself. You need to worry about yourself and your mother. While your busy caring for both of them who is caring for you? listening to your needs or just listening for that matter. If you would like to chat just look me up. Im happy to chat if you want. Curlupandie70
hey.
I’m really sorry about Your dad. Okay so this is probably going to sound like really dumb but are You a Christian? If You wanna be You can always email me..if You want, I’m not trying to pressure You or anything
kierstinjade123@yahoo.com